cap & gown

may 9th, dan graduated from law school.
it was a gorgeous day filled with family and friends.
i started crying the moment the graduates marched in.
dan looked absolutely brilliant.
it was a perfect day.

graduation celebration

after the ceremony, we had a serious celebration. since we were moving so soon, the party was a major joint effort. his parents played host, i sent out invitations, everyone brought a dish to share, dan cooked up the burgers, his dad supplied the dew, and we all enjoyed the first bbq of the season. my favorite part (aside from the guest of honor) was our sweet treats favor table featuring red vines, a bucket of cinnamon bears, swedish fish, and tiny homemade cookies. thank you to everyone who pitched in and celebrated in style with us. it was so fun to see a few of our favorite faces right before moving day.

idaho slideshow no. 01

spun 360.

we made it! (and finally have internet access. hooray.) the move to idaho was a big success, thanks to our awesome team. we are still thick in boxes, slowly making this place into a home.

we really love it so far. our lives have spun into brand newness and we've been kept busy. it has been strangely nice to be living off the grid, so to speak. unplugged, with just d and me. we have gone on exploratory walks (this photo was taken the day after we arrived, only a few blocks from our new place). we have seen a movie in the local theater, set up a baby crib, organized my closet (and said goodbye to all my skinny summer clothes, which will have a nice long stay in storage), gone to the post office (several times), visited the library, chatted with the old lady downstairs, unpacked all our dishes (yes, now i fully admit, dan, you're right. i have a lot of [lovely] dishes), bought a phone cable at Lowe's, spent hours on hold with Qwest, watched a fuzzy version of the idol finale, witnessed a buffalo cross the street right in front of us (in grand teton national park), and devoured dan's favorite pizza in the whole world on our day trip to jackson hole.

adventures are abounding.
life is good.

coming undone

our little apartment is slowly unraveling and the frames on the walls are coming down one by one. every time we move, i force myself to undo the mural collage that hangs in my studio. no matter how much i like it. it forces me to create something new in my new place. to let my creative thoughts unfold, introducing a new stage of hopeful progression in the arts.

"Time does not change us. It just unfolds us."
- Max Frisch

24

must keep up with the torso timeline. this babe waits for no man. darling photos of the graduate will be posted soon. along with his red n' white celebration we had with friends + family. and pictures of the pile of pretty boxes we have packed and stacked in our kitchen. just waiting. and the empty built-in bookshelves, my favorite part of our charming old house.

stepping off our cozy cliff

blogging is going to be oh so sporadic for the next few days. life is already hustling forward and i am just attempting to catch my breath. and take a photo or two. dan graduates tomorrow. {oh my goodness!} and major celebratory events will follow suit. i am going to attempt to live in the moment and enjoy all the hurrahs and the craziness and laughter and happiness and love and delicious goodies and belly pats. (and not think about the boxes, the utilities, forwarding the mail, carpet cleaning, wondering how in the world it will all get done.) instead, i'll just watch him in the spotlight. because he will only graduate from law school once. therefore i hope to make that day a favorite memory; by just living it and being there and not fussing or fretting and just enjoying. i've never thought about it much, but i hope for the next few days to be memorable and unforced and fabulously lovely. haven't thought about how to make a memory before. but am hoping it simply happens. maybe the key is to simply live it without trying.

and then after all the hoorays, reality will set in and crunch period begins; wherein we pack everything up, say goodbyes, load the van and drive it all away. suddenly your boxed up belongings mean a whole lot more to you when they are all you have left in your arms. saying hello to a brand new strange place is easier when you say hello, again to your familiar old belongings. it's silly, but it's true. i'm currently cursing all the crap i have held onto all these years while finding boxes to shove it into, but i realize in a week or two i'll be hugging it and retelling it's story when i am alone in my new place and dan is at his new job and everyone i know is very far away and everything i know will be new and i will be so turned around, i will wonder which grocery store to go to and what streets lead back to my new place. thankfully you bloggies will be the same distance away. that is, if internet connection goes well; cross fingers. and come to think of it, my babe will still be with me too. i had no idea how much comfort he would bring me during this upheaval of life as i know it.

it is all going to happen in a whirlwind; i realize. i wish the whirlwind could happen without so much chaos and scrubbing of sinks. am wondering if i can pack it all in. wrapping up (literally) life and work and projects. so many people are helping and celebrating and goodbyeing. i feel so lucky to have them. everyone is pitching in and lending their support and my thank you list is getting longer and longer. and although you may not know it; thank you for being so wonderfully supportive. thank you for encouraging me and making bliss for me on a daily basis. i love this li'l space where i can write my heart out. and it's because of all the bloggie friends that make it so warm and welcoming and safe. i feel like you know me and understand me. or at least you pretend to and just listen. which is exactly what a good friend should do. so i'll be gone until later. and maybe i'll have changed a little and grown up some and will be renewed and definitely rounder. i'll have more photos and adventure tales to tell then. bye for now. cheers.

xo.


p.s. the least i could do for my favorite blogging community is give back, so i'm participating in a mother's day giveaway over at petit elefant. sign up before sunday. and have a fabulous mama holiday to those of you who are mothers, will someday be a mother or was birthed into this world by a mother. am gaining a whole new respect for you, all you do, all you intend to do, your big future plans, and the wisdom you hold in your hearts. will need loads of advice coming up here in no time.

there is much love to go around. spread it.

weekend recap

the weekend was jam packed.
full of absolute perfect fun.
here are the cliff notes.

thursday. women's conference day one: sista bonding, slumber parties, lunching with cousins, meeting up with darling quelly, byu bookstore, chocolate dipped cinnimon bears, laughing at my excellent parking abilities, reuniting with friends from abroad, feeling rejuvenated and ready to go thanks to sheri dew, aunt julie and others, sista shopping sprees, late night movie, mexican fine dining.

friday. women's conference day two: more sista bonding, great talks, more creative juices, lots of note-taking, excitement for mom's big speech (she did awesome, made us all cry), was so happy to be surrounded with my family females, so much goodness, love, happiness in one place, mint brownies to celebrate!

friday night. the symphony with dan's cute grandparents. presenting old band swing music and jitterbugs. the perfect way to applaud dan's last final.

saturday. early morning bike rides, corn cakes for brunch at Blue Plate Diner, play day up at the Pioneer Park with mountain men and my mountain man, wagon rides, black powder rifles, flint & steel, and hatchet throwing. dan finally got to relax and enjoy his idea of heaven. (he may be rethinking his career choice). packing and more packing and sorting and cleaning and saying goodbye to so many delicious magazines, and then off to dinner of lamb & basmati rice at Mazza and ending the women's weekend by starting a very good book; Little Women.

oh my, i wish every weekend could be this fabulous.
(we're packing in all the goods literally and figuratively before heading out.)
xo.

bon voyage for a bit

am going offline for a few days in celebration of another sistas weekend (yip yip), to listen to my mom speak at women's conference (good luck!), to take dan out in honor of his last final (ever), and to wrap up some serious packing (eek). 

wishing you a happy weekend. xo.  

feeling a brand new feeling

in my experience, there aren't a whole lot of new feelings to feel after you've grown up. sure, i believe each experience is it's own, but routinely my life doesn't have a whole lot of brand newness in it. i know how it feels to feel a lot of things. which i have never given much thought to. until now.

for example, i know what it feels like to hold a piece of buttered toast, i know chocolate milk in a cold glass, i know corn on the cob between my teeth. i know the ocean waves slamming against my body, i know sand between my toes, i know the hot sun on my face, i know taking a shower with a sunburn. i know what a cold slab of marble feels like against my skin, i know cool grass and sizzling cement on my feet, i know cold rain on my head, i know soap in my eyes, and lemon in my wounds. i know mud in my hair and lotion on my legs. i know unsweetened baking squares in my mouth. i know gusts of wind and feeling winded. i know what it feels like to knead bread and sink my fingers into clay, i know paint on my hands, i know dried plaster on my arms. i know gum in my hair and floss in my teeth. i know the itch of chicken pox and the fear of a nightmare. i know the hurt of a high heel and the sparkle of a diamond. i know pierced ears and glossed lips. i know new york cheesecake and mom's rice pudding. i know the hug of a friend and the loss of a love. i know butterflies of a first kiss, the ache of a sad heart, the tug of a string. i know how it feels to feel elated with joy, to be surprised, to be disappointed, to laugh until i cry, to worry until i'm sick, to blush until i am red. i know forgetting my lines on stage and i know a standing ovation. i know the smell of my grandma's perfume and my dad's shoe polish. i know flying in an airplane and riding in a train car. i know views of the swiss alps and i know a baby sleeping on my shoulder.

i know how it feels to feel loved and to be in love.

i didn't appreciate all of these small feelings i've felt until i felt this new feeling for the very first time.

i never want to forget how incredible it feels to feel a little kick from the inside; saying hello. reminding me of the miracle growing inside. reminding me of the miracles that are all around me. reminding me of the miracle of new life and the miracle of my life. and how blessed i am.

when he kicks from the inside, i smile every time at this brand new feeling. and realize all the feelings he will have to look forward to. all the feelings i will get to teach him about; like finger painting on butcher paper and rolling cookie dough into shapes and blowing bubbles in the shade and jumping into salty waves of the pacific and learning how to sound out words on the page. i imagine the newness of how it feels to swing on a swing-set and sit on dad's knee and ride a horse and run a race and spit out watermelon seeds and see snowflakes fall and build blanket forts and hear the boom of fireworks. i want him to feel all of these feelings. because i want to give him the same thrill that his little kicks give me.


i already love him. he will always know the feeling of love.

and while i wrap picture frames in newsprint

the legendary neil diamond will be on american idol tonight & tomorrow.

and while i'm loading books into boxes

miss gorgeous gwyneth will be glam on the dave letterman show; tonight.

i dream inbetween bubble wrap sessions.

inspiring images
via two of my favorite home decor blogs
absolutely beautiful things
the inspired room

what i learned when my husband went to law school.

three years ago we embarked on an adventure. i say we because this sort of adventure involves the whole family. some called us crazy. some said it was risky. (and boy was it expensive.) this adventure was a little thing we call law school.

back then, i was just a wee one. i knew nothing; let's face it. people told us this time would fly by. i did not believe them. people told us that law school was the most memorable time of their lives. yeah right. people told us that the friends you make in law school will be your pals forever. hmm. doubt it. for some reason, 3 years ago, all of these romantic statements thrown our way were not the things i really wanted to hear. sure optimism is a good thing.. but sometimes you (i) need a bit of reaffirmation. you just want the cold hard truth. you want to hear that being poor sucks. you want to hear how being a law school widow sucks. you want to hear that you are saying farewell to your husband and tossing him into a pile of books. which will cost you a lot of money, by the way. you'll want to hear that moving miles away from your family is super sad. you want to hear that attempting to support your two person family is really hard. you want to hear that you are the bomb dot com, hero of a lifetime to support your hubby through three years of law school. and you want to hear that your husband is a stud for heading back to school. you want to hear that this self-imposed torturous endeavor will pay off in the end. (and you will want a guarantee on that.) these are the kinds of things you wish people would say, but they don't. so you simply jump in. luckily we had each other.

so the first year we were like newborns. feeling strangely uncomfortable leaving the womb. law school society was a whole new world; especially because that whole new world was called orange county, california. we lived there and played there and it was more dreamy than i imagined. we were still poor and pathetic, but we had plenty. we ate like nobody's business, because the OC has the best restaurants and juicy fresh colorful produce is unbelievably cheap. and i worked hard. harder than i have ever worked in my life. i learned a lot and grew and grew. and that year, dan planted a big fat smile on his face because he discovered his new love. he spent hours devoted to her. he spent his nights with her, cooped up in the library. he and she would whisper back and forth as he read words with too many vowels in books with too many pages. her name: the Law.

i didn't resent her of course. all this time he spent with the Law made him happy. really truly actually happy. i couldn't have been gladder. i busied myself with projects and work and doing five loads of laundry at once (the one pro of using a laundromat) and reading on the beach on saturdays. dan would come home with stories upon stories of torts and trials and cases. i tried to be a good wife and listen and be interested. i especially liked when they were dramatic cases and i could try to detect the ending and decipher justice. i liked to pull out all the stops and imagine every grisham movie i'd ever seen; a little part of me wants to be darby shaw.

he would tell me about the cases and we'd discuss what fairness is all about. i learned how everyone deserves a good lawyer, that everyone deserves their day in court and how we have to be honest, ethical, good citizens of the world; because it's our duty. this reminder made me stop the once in a while lemonade in my water cup at cheap restaurants. it made me stop speeding or making u-turns at illegal points in the road too. well most of the time. i didn't realize i would get a new roommate; but i did. i was living with a bearded judge judy. i became a super sleuth with dan's new knowledge. suddenly i knew all my rights and knew i could tell the officer that i would have to see a warrant for that. or that i don't have to say anything until my lawyer is there. dan can tell me the laws about everything and how much time i'd spend in the big house if they caught me and would then ask me how i would defend myself if on the stand. i don't know the heimlich so good, but i am going to be really prepared if ever the SWAT team shows up at my door.

our more serious discussions soon became very logical and precise, i learned that dan would want the court report read back to him if i said some silly blunderous statement that made no sense at all. yeah, i do that. a lot. he was a lawyer in training, and he had me to practice on. though annoying at times, it was genius. and i loved him more and more. my mom and i would chat on the phone and she would say she thought of dan everytime she watched Law & Order. a show i'm sure dan (and all other law school students) would love, if they had a free moment to actually watch it.

speaking of television, dan has been very lucky to have me. throughout his law school career, i've kept him up to date on everything important: what tyra did on Next Top Model or what simon said on American Idol or the state of billy bush's tan on Access Hollywood. without me, dan would have had no clue about hurricane katrina, mitt running for president, paris in the slammer, katie leaving the today show or that the last bachelor didn't choose either girl. while stuck in traffic or on a weekend road trip, he'd detail the history of the constitution and quiz me on the names of the supreme court justices and i'd update him on everything worth knowing and quiz him on how many babies angie and brad have. {what can i say, we work as a team.} i'd also tell dan about my clients at work and how stressful and crazy and hilarious it all is. he would tell me about his classes and ask if i'd make cookies for the study group on fridays. i became known for my chocolate chip & rice krispie cookie. which makes me a very happy girl.

after the first year, dan had the opportunity to transfer to the university of utah. we rejoiced at the thought of coming home and cried at the thought of leaving the oceanside campfires, the in & out chocolate shakes, trader joes grocery store and our wonderful new friends. but we headed to utah with happy, thankful hearts. {coming home was an unexpected jaunt in our adventure.}

throughout the entire adventure, dan never complained about the tower of mammoth books on his cheap ikea desk, or the fact that he was expected to actually read them (nor the fact that he has never had a proper fancy true law school studentesque oak table to read them on). he never complained about the socratic method his professors used, naming students unexpectedly (by their last names, mister so and so...). he never complained about riding his bike to school every day or staying late at the library every night. he never complained that his meals were rarely hot or that he had to wear an old suit to mock trial. he never complained about the workload or all the fun he was missing out on. he never complained that most every weekend was spent in the library at his desk with his head buried in a book and his fingers tapping away at his laptop.

instead, he would tell me the 'dinner' i packed him was delicious, that he had a spot in the sun to work at all day, that his bike was the best commute ever, that he loved the case he was working on, that his professors were inspiring, and that he wanted to be a good lawyer someday.

now that our adventure is wrapping up and dan will be graduating from law school in two weeks; i am getting all sentimental. this adventure has flown by. i will always think fondly of this special time; where it was just d and me. the three short years where we made so many memories and lived off bowls of linguine. the years he discovered that orange flavored rockstar can keep him awake to cram all night. the years i figured out what i wanted to do and actually did it. the years that we made friends who are unforgettable. the years where our short li'l trips camping in the desert were better than a stay in any lavish hotel. the years where dan and i took long walks; memorizing all of our favorite houses in all of the neighborhoods we lived in. the years where we wrote emails back and forth and cheered each other on from desktop to laptop. the years that we learned and grew and became brand new people.

cheers to a fabulous finale and a new birth of possibilities.